Confession time. I've never been even what I would describe as "mediocre" when it comes to reading scripture and memorizing verses. I remember battling myself during my high school days to maintain a structured "quiet time." I remember losing that battle over and over again. These days, I'll admit, I don't even try much anymore. I wouldn't even describe my scripture readings as "sporadic." More like non-existent.
However, I have been reminded of Ecclesiastes 3 lately. Elizabeth and I have been going through a season that could be described a number of ways -- trying, frustrating, neverending -- and none of them good. It has certainly been a time of weeping and mourning, not laughing and dancing.
That appears to be changing, though. Things are looking up. I can't say that the past 8 months have been easy or have gone the way I would have planned them. I never wanted to lose my job last December. I didn't want to be separated from my wife, seven hours apart, for nearly six months while I worked in Texas and she remained in Central Louisiana. I certainly didn't want to lose another job, just two weeks after getting Elizabeth a job in Texas, and at the same time be the reason she also lost her job. So we ended up back in Central Louisiana, where this journey started, except that we both were unemployed.
For the past six weeks, I have put out a number of feelers for jobs, while at the same time waiting on a job that I thought would be the perfect fit for me, and would allow me to come back home to north Louisiana. Needless to say, after waiting around and biding my time, then coming tantalizing close to getting said job, it was yanked away and I was starting all over again.
I can say that I have learned a thing or two during this trying period. The biggest lesson I've learned is that it's OK to keep my big mouth shut sometimes. That mouth isn't what originally caused this mess, as it had nothing to do with my original layoff, but it did cause a bit of controversy afterward -- it's the reason we lost our jobs in Texas, and presumably the reason I didn't get the Monroe job (although that was over something that was truly silly). I have opinions. I share those opinions. I don't care what you think of those opinions. Don't like 'em? That's fine with me. It doesn't bother me. Apparently, though, some people aren't like me. They do care if my opinion is different from theirs. So I'll keep that opinion to myself more often from now on.
After losing out on the latest potential job last week, something strange happened. My old employer, the one that laid me off last December and started this interesting journey, contacted me to see if I would be interested in returning to work -- although in a totally different capacity. I said, sure. I need a job. And there are some definite plusses to this new gig, although I will admit a tinge of regret about not being able to come home to north Louisiana, where the majority -- who am I kidding? -- all of my friends live (besides my lovely wife). But I am just ecstatic to have a job again.
It's interesting how your priorities change during a time of crisis. I used to have big dreams about going places in the journalism world. I wanted to conquer it. I wanted to be the best. I was headed to ESPN. Now, I'm just grateful to have another chance. I'm just thankful to be able to have another opportunity to provide for my family -- to try to give my wife a little stability once again.
Yes, it was a tough season. There was mourning. There was weeping. There was loss. Hopefully, though, we're entering a much better season. No more mourning, weeping and loss. Instead, that will be replaced with healing, laughing and love. After all, with what we've experienced over the past eight months, it has to get better. I have faith and hope that God has something great in store for us this season.
