Thankful

It's almost 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day. I must confess that I should be asleep. At 6:30, my eyes wouldn't stay open. I was stuffed. Turkey, dressing, corn casserole, green beans, lots and lots of rolls, and two helpings of peach crisp/cobbler (made with Splenda, of course). It was lights out.

Why then, nearly four hours later, am I wide awake? It just doesn't make sense! Watched a little college hoops, a little college football, after watching two NFL games earlier. It's a good day. Time for bed. After all, that 4 a.m. work shift of following around the crazies on Black Friday is going to come early! Yet, there's no blissful sleep here. Nope, just some blissful tunes as sung by Lady Antebellum.

So, I've decided to do a little soul writing. I love writing. I really do. If you check this blog often, it may not seem like it. But I write for a living. And I've discovered Twitter, which has become an all-consuming obsession of mine. Lots of writing ... in little spurts at a time. But it's not often that I do much soul writing. Have never been that great at journaling my thoughts and passions. And I've failed miserably at keeping this blog updated, mostly because I would prefer to keep my innermost thoughts inward.

However, I wanted to write tonight about what everyone writes about today -- the obligatory reasons why I'm thankful in my life.

It's no secret for people who know me that this past year hasn't exactly been easy. It's never easy losing a job, much less two of them. It's never easy living nearly seven hours away from the person you love the most on this earth for nearly six months. This year was perhaps the most difficult and trying one of my life. Yet, I have so many reasons to be thankful.

At this time last year, I had no clue what was right around the corner. It was only about two weeks later that I was laid off from my job at The Town Talk. It was a good thing that Elizabeth and I decided to have an early Christmas, or we wouldn't have had one. In fact, I spent Christmas seven hours away from my wife, miserable. I spent many miserable days and nights away from my wife and new puppy in New Braunfels, Texas -- miserable because we weren't together, yet hopeful for what our future would bring. I had a new job, and it looked like we were going to be starting a new chapter in our lives, in a new home, with a fresh start.

Unfortunately, things would only get worse before they got better. About six months after I moved to Texas, Elizabeth was finally able to join me, quitting her job at the paper that laid me off and embarking her way into Texas with a new job at the paper I was working at. Only that lasted just two weeks before we both lost our jobs, thanks to an insane publisher and my big mouth for having the gall to stand up for what was right instead of being a yes-man.

So, instead of being unemployed while my wife worked, we were both unemployed, at my own hand -- you want to talk about the worst feeling ever? How about talking your wife into quitting her job, and then being the reason she's fired at her new one? I think I reached a new low, a new brokenness, that fortunately helped bring us closer together than we've ever been. Adversity is a very funny thing. It can bring you closer together or push you farther apart. Elizabeth and I have seen our fair share of adversity, and thankfully we usually come out better off on the other end.

I say all of this just to lead up to the part of thankfulness. In June, I was about as long as I could get. I was never suicidal, but I certainly was depressed. I couldn't understand how I could have allowed myself to get into that position, and I hated myself for causing so much pain for my wife. All I've ever wanted was to be able to take care of her, and there I sat, unemployed for the second time in seven months with seemingly no options in sight.

It was a tough 2 months as I struggled to find out what the next step was. Did we stay in Alexandria? Did we look to move again? How do you know what's the right thing to do? Even when you think you're listening for God's voice, is it really His, or just what you want to hear?

Now to the thankful part -- we're better off right now that we were at this point last year. Elizabeth was able to land a great job at a credit union, and she's already been promoted. She's blown them away, and we've gotten over the initial disappointment that she wasn't able to get her job back at the paper. She has responsibility, is able to use her degree and has some great hours.

Meanwhile, I'm back where I was a year ago, even if in a different role. I'm back at the paper in Alexandria, working in city government, rather than in sports. But while sports is my passion, my current job definitely has its own positives. Much better hours. A regular schedule, rather than the "Vampire" one we lived for the previous two years. And I don't have nearly as much responsibility. Instead of being an editor at the bottom of the totem pole, I'm a writer whose responsibility is simply to do his job and not worry about the other stuff. I'm very thankful, not only to have a job after losing two other ones, but to have a job that I'm pretty good at and really enjoy, even if it has its frustrating moments.

I'm thankful that my wife and I are back together, and we have a great puppy that we love very much. That Christmas last year that we had early, well, I got a beagle mix puppy named Sandy who is now 15 months old and one of the sweetest things ever. And Elizabeth still gets to use the new stove that I bought her for Christmas, when we both thought she would lose that when we sold our house. I love my family. I'm thankful for my wife. I'm thankful that I get to come home to her, even if it's late at night because I'm off officiating a basketball game, or I have to cover a late city council meeting. I'm thankful that she's here when I get home and that she loves me.

I'm thankful for my parents, who I still do not see nearly enough or call enough on the phone. I'm thankful that they care about me, they care enough to overlook my obvious faults as a son and continue to love me unconditionally. I'm thankful for my in-laws, who are always there for me, whether it's to provide a meal, just to hang out and watch football or bull riding, to puppy-sit, or to help with one of the minor or major projects around the house. I'm thanking for my brother and my brothers-in-law and their families, my nephews and nieces, who may have more energy than I can sustain, but who also make me smile with wonder at how quickly life changes.

I'm thankful for my friends, who I get to see more often now that Elizabeth and I have normal work schedules and no longer are vampires. Whether it's a spontaneous trip up for pizza, or a planned weekend, I'm grateful that I have tremendous friends who love and care for me. I'm grateful that I can pick up a phone, place a call or send a text, and know that whether it's a joke or a serious question, they're there for me. I've never needed hundreds of friends to make me happy, but I've always held my few friends close to my heart. I hope you guys know that I'm always here, and I'm glad you're always there for me.

There's so much more that I'm thankful for that I cannot even begin to mention everything. But to sum things up, I'm thankful for today and hopeful for tomorrow. None of us know what it will bring, but after a year of struggles, I'm more hopeful today than I've ever been. I've seen things begin to turn around, and I truly believe there are only better things coming in the future.

Happy Thanksgiving Day! I have a lot to be thankful for!

thinking a lot, but not out loud

So I've been thinking a lot lately. Not about anything in particular, except for football, which seems to dominate my weekends, much to my lovely wife's chagrin. Those of you reading know that I am currently writing for a living, and usually when I have a heavy writing load at work, I don't do much writing during my free time. Can't explain it. I enjoy writing, but it always feels like I'm bringing work home, which is a no-no.

But I've been thinking. Not aloud, just in my head. Elizabeth would love for me to think out loud -- well, out loud about anything but sports. I'm a pretty boring person to be around, especially if you're not big on sports. Which she's not, anymore. But she has been a trooper during Saints games. And she's actually pretty smart about it.

Anyway, enough rambling. One of the things I've been thinking about inside my head is poetry. I've been wanting to write. I enjoy it, though it's hit and miss. Sometimes, it's really easy and the words flow out. Other times, they just don't come. Here's hoping they come.



Crisp, cool, getting a little chilly
It's that time of year again
Summer's heat leaves and fall arrives
Makes me happy, giddy, silly

Autumn might be my favorite season
At least it is in October and November
Other times, it's spring or summer or winter
I can change my mind for no reason

Life is good, I must confess
Could complain, but I won't
Cuz nobody wants to hear it
Stay positive and don't digress

Seasons come and seasons go
Either sit back and watch
Or get actively involved
And go against the flow

Fall's here, make the most
Of each and every passing day
Do everything to the fullest
But do not brag or boast

Life is good, I must confess
Could complain, but I won't
Cuz nobody wants to hear it
Stay positive and don't digress

Sad times

I haven't written in a while. That normally happens when I have a job where I write all the time. Which is now.

But I've got something to say, even if it's brief.

I went to the visitation tonight of a co-worker's daughter. She was 3 months old when she died suddenly on Tuesday. When I saw him tonight, it just about broke my heart. Seeing that beautiful little girl lying lifeless did break my heart.

We never know why things like this happen. I'm sure my co-worker and his wife are searching their hearts as to why this lovable little girl was only here for 3 months. I told him to cherish those 3 months. They are better than zero months.

Tonight once again reiterated that life is so precious. You can be perfectly fine one day and gone the next, like this little one who was taken from us far too soon. It once again reminded me that I take every day for granted far too much, that I don't talk to my friends and family nearly enough, and that I honestly and truly do not live life to the fullest. Will I change? Probably not. But it's nights like these that make me want to.

For those of you reading, thank you. I love you and think of you often, even when you don't hear from me for weeks and months at a time. I'm sorry. I will try harder. I say that all the time. I mean it tonight.

To every thing there is a season

Confession time. I've never been even what I would describe as "mediocre" when it comes to reading scripture and memorizing verses. I remember battling myself during my high school days to maintain a structured "quiet time." I remember losing that battle over and over again. These days, I'll admit, I don't even try much anymore. I wouldn't even describe my scripture readings as "sporadic." More like non-existent.

However, I have been reminded of Ecclesiastes 3 lately. Elizabeth and I have been going through a season that could be described a number of ways -- trying, frustrating, neverending -- and none of them good. It has certainly been a time of weeping and mourning, not laughing and dancing.

That appears to be changing, though. Things are looking up. I can't say that the past 8 months have been easy or have gone the way I would have planned them. I never wanted to lose my job last December. I didn't want to be separated from my wife, seven hours apart, for nearly six months while I worked in Texas and she remained in Central Louisiana. I certainly didn't want to lose another job, just two weeks after getting Elizabeth a job in Texas, and at the same time be the reason she also lost her job. So we ended up back in Central Louisiana, where this journey started, except that we both were unemployed.

For the past six weeks, I have put out a number of feelers for jobs, while at the same time waiting on a job that I thought would be the perfect fit for me, and would allow me to come back home to north Louisiana. Needless to say, after waiting around and biding my time, then coming tantalizing close to getting said job, it was yanked away and I was starting all over again.

I can say that I have learned a thing or two during this trying period. The biggest lesson I've learned is that it's OK to keep my big mouth shut sometimes. That mouth isn't what originally caused this mess, as it had nothing to do with my original layoff, but it did cause a bit of controversy afterward -- it's the reason we lost our jobs in Texas, and presumably the reason I didn't get the Monroe job (although that was over something that was truly silly). I have opinions. I share those opinions. I don't care what you think of those opinions. Don't like 'em? That's fine with me. It doesn't bother me. Apparently, though, some people aren't like me. They do care if my opinion is different from theirs. So I'll keep that opinion to myself more often from now on.

After losing out on the latest potential job last week, something strange happened. My old employer, the one that laid me off last December and started this interesting journey, contacted me to see if I would be interested in returning to work -- although in a totally different capacity. I said, sure. I need a job. And there are some definite plusses to this new gig, although I will admit a tinge of regret about not being able to come home to north Louisiana, where the majority -- who am I kidding? -- all of my friends live (besides my lovely wife). But I am just ecstatic to have a job again.

It's interesting how your priorities change during a time of crisis. I used to have big dreams about going places in the journalism world. I wanted to conquer it. I wanted to be the best. I was headed to ESPN. Now, I'm just grateful to have another chance. I'm just thankful to be able to have another opportunity to provide for my family -- to try to give my wife a little stability once again.

Yes, it was a tough season. There was mourning. There was weeping. There was loss. Hopefully, though, we're entering a much better season. No more mourning, weeping and loss. Instead, that will be replaced with healing, laughing and love. After all, with what we've experienced over the past eight months, it has to get better. I have faith and hope that God has something great in store for us this season.

Confessions

So I've been requested to make a few confessions, even though I don't have seven blogs that I read to share with you. I copied this from a friend, and my confessions are similar to hers. Here goes:

1) I must be one of the few people who actually enjoys the smell of Fritos. And the taste is even better!

2) Fritos are good. Funyons are better. In fact, Funyons are the best!

3) I've always had horrible hair. It's straight as a board with about a bajillion cowlicks. Bad, bad stuff!

4) I've had a few bad habits over the years. When you're a kid, those habits can be cute. Well, I would suck the middle and ring fingers on my right hand and carry my "piddow" around with me everywhere. It was so bad that my mom had to lie to me and say my "piddow" was torn up in the washing machine, so she could hide it from me! I also continued to suck my fingers into junior high before stopping because of braces.

5) I like to say I'm not scared of anything. But that's not the truth. Snakes, roaches, spooky noises late at night, and horror movies are a few things that FREAK ... ME ... OUT!

6) I love food. Seriously. I plan my days around meals. I plan trips around meals. Unfortunately, at 27, all that eating is really starting to catch up with me.

7) I've had a few celebrity crushes over the years. Natalie Portman back when I first started college, not so much these days. Lauren Conrad when Laguna Beach and the Hills first came out, not so much these days. I'm not sure I have a celebrity crush at the moment. Maybe Allison Mack, who plays Chloe on Smallville. Yeah, we'll go with her.

8) If I don't start watching a TV show from the get-go, I can't get into it usually. And I feel like I've missed some good shows over the years. Lost, The Office, 30 Rock are a few that come to mind.

9) I think Tom Cruise is insane. If I met him, he might be the nicest person in the world, and I'd probably walk away thinking, "That's a really nice, insane man."

10) I tried to be a pretty good kid in high school. No drugs, no alcohol, no sex. Besides a few -- OK, more than a few -- speeding tickets, I didn't get in any trouble (although I had community service TWICE because of my penchant for putting the pedal to the metal). I did rebel one time in high school, though, as I smoked my first cigarette in the passenger seat of Kyle Roberts' car. It was disgusting. Wasn't for me. But I thought I was cool in that moment. Little did I know that that moment of rebellion would actually help plant a seed that would eventually lead to one of the best friendships I've ever had. Krob and I have had an interesting journey since 1999!

It's just not the same

I had one of the most wonderful experiences of my life this past week. The old saying is it's the little things that matter and bring the most joy. Well, that was the case this past week during "Bring Your Wife to Work Week."

Living seven hours away from my wife, and only getting to see her on a two-day weekend trip (whether it's her coming to Texas or me going back to Louisiana) has been tough. Which is why last week was so great.

Elizabeth was forced to take a week of furlough, which is essentially unpaid vacation, so she planned to come out to New Braunfels from Wednesday through Sunday. She had one job-related situation set up, but other than that had a pretty clear calendar. So we played a game. The bring-your-wife-to-work game. It was so much fun!

My boss was out on vacation, and we lost an employee early in the week. So, pretty much, things were crazy around the office. I had to put in a few more hours than a normal week, which didn't really leave a lot of time for Elizabeth and I to do a whole lot. So we hung out at the office. It was great for me to look over at the next desk and see her on the laptop or reading. Just having her next to me was awesome.

We made time to do some fun things. We ate well. Went to San Antonio and had lunch with an old friend. Went to the mall. Ate some more (if you come visit, there's a booth at Montana Mike's with your name on it!). And hung out. It was great. Simple, but fun.

It was made even greater when Elizabeth got a call from a prospective employer to see if she could interview on Tuesday, so we got to extend the trip a couple of days and have more Bring Your Wife to Work days! But today, coming back to this office without having her in the next desk was just sad. I got spoiled. It just wasn't the same without her.

We're hopeful that something will come through with a job for her and also selling the house. We are ready to settle into our new lives here in New Bruanfels. And have more Bring Your Wife to Work days!!!

Man, what a day

I love football. College football is amazing, and I'm glued to the TV every Saturday. I follow the NFL pretty closely, both for fantasy and entertainment reasons. And come playoff time, I'm riveted. But nothing in my mind compares to college basketball. The Super Bowl is nice, but give me March Madness (and the first weekend in April) every single year.

Today was Selection Sunday, which is the unofficial beginning of the greatest three weeks of the year -- the NCAA basketball tournament. I'm not going to lie. I was a little disappointed with the pairings. There are a lot of games that just don't excite me, particularly in the 4-13, 5-12 and 6-11 matchups where you normally find some big-time upsets in the first round. Of course, this tournament appears to be devoid of your traditional Cinderella teams. That happens when non-major conferences get only four of the 34 available at-large bids. I just don't get it. Part of what makes this tournament so exciting is rooting for the underdog. But there aren't that many true underdogs because so few were let into the tournament. Honestly, who besides Arizona grads would rather see the Wildcats over St. Mary's or Creighton? Anyway, enough of my complaining. I'm sure the tournament will still be riveting, and while I'm disappointing today, when the first round begins on Thursday, I'll be completely compelled to watch.

I was put in charge of running the office pool this season, and since we run a small operation here in New Braunfels, there are only eight of us participating. But that won't make it any less exciting and competitive. Plus, I'm still in The Town Talk's league. Of course, not that these office pools mean anything, because I inevitably end up near the bottom of the pack, behind people who have no business out-picking me in an NCAA tournament pool.

Now that you've been forewarned about my lack of picking prowess, I urge you not to copy the following picks. They're not made with much enthusiasm, as I'm just not that good at this stuff.

First Round

Midwest Region
No. 1 Louisville over No. 16 Morehead State (which will beat Alabama State in the play-in game)
No. 9 Siena over No. 8 Ohio State
No. 5 Utah over No. 12 Arizona (which has no business being in this tournament!)
No. 4 Wake Forest over No. 13 Cleveland State
No. 6 West Virginia over No. 11 Dayton (in a near upset)
No. 3 Kansas over No. 14 North Dakota State (which is no Bucknell)
No. 10 USC over No. 7 Boston College (Tyrese Rice meet Marcus Simmons)
No. 2 Michigan State over No. 15 Robert Morris

West Region
No. 1 Connecticut over No. 16 Chattanooga
No. 9 Texas A&M over No. 8 BYU
No. 5 Purdue over No. 12 Northern Iowa (in a squeaker)
No. 4 Washington over No. 13 Mississippi State
No. 11 Utah State over No. 6 Marquette (which misses Dominic James)
No. 3 Missouri over No. 14 Cornell
No. 10 Maryland over No. 7 California
No. 2 Memphis over No. 15 Cal State Northridge

East Region
No. 1 Pittsburgh over No. 16 East Tennessee State
No. 8 Oklahoma State over No. 9 Tennessee
No. 5 Florida State over No. 12 Wisconsin (another team that doesn't belong here)
No. 4 Xavier over No. 13 Portland State
No. 6 UCLA over No. 11 VCU (I went back and forth on this one ... basically a coin flip)
No. 3 Villanova over No. 14 American (how can you not root for a university named American? it's un-American!)
No. 7 Texas over No. 10 Minnesota
No. 2 Duke over No. 15 Binghamton

South Region
No. 1 North Carolina over No. 16 Radford
No. 9 Butler over No. 8 LSU (making the SEC 0-for-3)
No. 12 Western Kentucky over No. 5 Illinois (everyone's upset special)
No. 4 Gonzaga over No. 13 Akron
No. 6 Arizona State over No. 11 Temple
No. 3 Syracuse over No. 14 Stephen F. Austin (much closer than most think)
No. 10 Michigan over No. 7 Clemson
No. 2 Oklahoma over No. 15 Morgan State

Second Round

Midwest Region

No. 1 Louisville over No. 9 Siena

No. 4 Wake Forest over No. 5 Utah

No. 6 West Virginia over No. 3 Kansas (sorry defending champs, not enough experience)

No. 2 Michigan State over No. 10 USC (nice knowing you, Demar Derozan)

West Region

No. 1 Connecticut over No. 9 Texas A&M

No. 5 Purdue over No. 4 Washington

No. 3 Missouri over No. 11 Utah State (too much athleticism)

No. 2 Memphis over No. 10 Maryland

East Region

No. 1 Pittsburgh over No. 8 Oklahoma State

No. 5 Florida State over No. 4 Xavier

No. 3 Villanova over No. 6 UCLA (no fourth straight Final Four for the Bruins)

No. 2 Duke over No. 7 Texas

South Region

No. 1 North Carolina over No. 9 Butler (which didn't do it this time)

No. 4 Gonzaga over No. 12 Western Kentucky (in overtime)

No. 6 Arizona State over No. 3 Syracuse (which runs out of gas after the Big East tourney)

No. 2 Oklahoma over No. 10 Michigan

Sweet Sixteen

Midwest Region

No. 4 Wake Forest over No. 1 Louisville (which is the first No. 1 seed gone)

No. 2 Michigan State over No. 6 West Virginia

West Region

No. 1 Connecticut over No. 5 Purdue

No. 3 Missouri over No. 2 Memphis (in the best game of the entire tournament)

East Region

No. 1 Pittsburgh over No. 5 Florida State

No. 2 Duke over No. 3 Villanova

Elite Eight

Midwest Region

No. 4 Wake Forest over No. 2 Michigan State

West Region

No. 3 Missouri over No. 1 Connecticut (which is vulnerable because of injuries)

East Region

No. 1 Pittsburgh over No. 2 Duke (Dejuan Blair dominates the Dukies)

South Region

No. 2 Oklahoma over No. 1 North Carolina (Blake Griffin goes off against Tyler Hansbrough)

Final Four

No. 4 Wake Forest over No. 3 Missouri

No. 2 Oklahoma over No. 1 Pittsburgh

No. 2 Oklahoma over No. 4 Wake Forest

Blake Griffin puts the Sooners on his shoulders and carries them to the national title before leaving to become the No. 1 pick in the NBA draft.

My 100th post, and hopefully a memorable one

I’ve been sitting here, getting lost in a new artist, and contemplating the fact that I’ve been away from my family for 10 weeks now. Ten weeks of my wife’s and my pup’s lives that I’ll never get back. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea — I’m not complaining about my situation. Plenty of people have it worse than I do. But I’ve come to appreciate the little things, like being able to sit and talk with my wife, or being able to watch my puppy go from a tiny little thing to a bonafide mini-beast.

Honestly, it’s March 1, 2009. I started work here on Dec. 16, 2008. Because I’ve been working so hard, it really hasn’t seemed that long. It’s seemed like a blur. But the days I have off, the time that I have to myself, my mind always drifts back to Alexandria and I get depressingly sad and alone that I am not with my family.

So, tonight, I felt compelled to write — not a love song to my wife, but just an honest take on my current situation. I have no idea what’s going to flow out of my heart and mind, but I do know it will be true and it will be real. It might even be shocking. I hope you enjoy.

Where’s it all gone — the days, the hours, the minutes?
It’s all a blur, happening so fast and passing me by
A week here, a month there, gone just like a flash
Like a lightning bolt that lights up the night sky

The sun rises, the sun sets and on and on it goes
Just as when it was all set in motion years ago
Oh, how I long for those days of innocence and youth
When it all seemed to pass by and drag on so slow

Sometimes, I think I forgot what it’s like to feel
What it’s like to hurt, to miss, to desire, to cry
The emotions of yesteryear that I’d lost along the way
Well up within my soul and are no longer dry

I look around at all the many beautiful sights
Surrounding me here in this newfound place
But all this splendor simply pales in comparison
To home sweet home and her beautiful face

Seventy-seven days, they come they go
Can’t get ‘em back, even though I try
Seventy-seven days, forever in the past
Blow them away and say goodbye

Plenty’s been written about peace and about joy
Find them in all seasons, through everything
Another cliché, it’s easier said than done
But again, I know, it’s all in God’s timing

I’m so far from perfect, that much I can admit
Struggles arise and sometimes the sins win
That’s the wonderful thing about grace, though
We’re allowed to move on, start over and grin

It’s not easy; in fact, it’s tougher every day
No joke, the ache grows within me more and more
I miss you, I want you, I need you, gotta have you
The great thing is that’s what He has in store

Life will eventually get back to normal
And return to the way it once was in the past
We’ll be together again, a family once again
It will be sweeter, and we’ll enjoy as it lasts

Seventy-seven days, when will they end?
I surely don’t want seventy-seven more
Seventy-seven days, not in my control
I will endure, with my knees on the floor

Sending my love

I know it may sound cliche
But baby I've got to say
I can't help but love the way
You light up my life every day

I know it may sound trite
Try as I may and I might
Can't get you out of my sight
Your eyes are like sparkling lights

These rhymes are pouring out
Like water out of a spout
They're true without a doubt
You're all I can think about

Just wish you were next to me
Out in the park under a tree
Beautiful sky as far as we can see
That's as happy as I could be

I miss you more each hour
Won't let that get me sour
You're prettier than any flower
We'll survive with God's power

In the words of the Sandy-pup
I love you and can't shut up
It runneth over my cup
Baby you know that's what's up

It's time for this poem to end
Not before your wishes I'll tend
Together again around the bend
Until then, my love I send

Tears of joy at last!

It's caused my wife great consternation over the past several years that I have developed somewhat of a writer's block when it comes to poetry. In junior high and high school and into my early years of college, I would write poetry. Some of it was pretty good, some of it wasn't, but I was able to put my thoughts and feelings onto paper in the form of verse.

However, about the time I started studying journalism, and by proxy doing more prose writing, the poetry seemed to stop. Now, as Elizabeth and I started dating, eventually became engaged and then got married, this didn't sit too well with her because, well frankly, she wanted some poems written about her.

I've written a few things, but nothing I was really proud of. Tonight, however, that changed. I've been sitting in my room for the past few hours, listening to music. As I was listening to a good friend of mine, Grant Terry, I was inspired to try to write a few verses. And it just flowed out.

So here's my love poem to my wife:

Love Poem

Sitting here alone so far away
From you, the world, everything
I have words in my head, my heart
Just wish I had the voice to sing
A love song just for you
From my lips to your ears
So soft, gentle and sweet
To bring your heart to tears

Baby, I know it’s all so frustrating
The separation, the tough times we face
Just please know that I love you
And wish your fears I could erase
All I’ve ever wanted was to please you
To give you all your hopes and dreams
Know it’s all going to work out in the end
No matter how tough right now it seems

This is my love poem to you, baby
If I were blessed with the gift of song
I’d wrap it in the form of a lullaby
I can’t, but the meaning is just as strong

There may be more than a few hours
Between where you and I now sleep
But please, if I can only ask
Don’t let these times make you weep
Because in the end, we both know
The tough times can only bring
The two of us closer together
It’s just temporary, nothing but a thing

Nothing can change the way I feel
And girl I hope you know that I do
Feel more strongly than I ever have
My love for you is pure and true
Oh, how I wish that you were here
Lying next to me, together at last
I know that day will come soon
Wish I could make it happen oh so fast

This is my love poem to you, baby
If I were blessed with the gift of song
I’d wrap it in the form of a lullaby
I can’t, but the meaning is just as strong

This is my love poem to you, baby
If I were blessed with the gift of song
I’d wrap it in the form of a lullaby
I can’t, but the meaning is just as strong

All Around Me

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding onto what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Those are just part of the lyrics from one of the greatest songs out there right now, at least in my opinion, All Around Me by Flyleaf. I just wish they applied to me.

Many of you know my spiritual journey. Grew up in church. Knew God. Baptized as a child. Saved while in high school. Rebaptized. Continued to go to church. Spent many a night praising the Lord while in college. Servant in the youth group at my previous church when things fell apart.

I got caught up in something pretty bad, trusted people who ended up straying from the path and got burned. It hurt me badly. Really badly. And my walk hasn't been the same.

One of the things I was so looking forward to moving to New Braunfels was getting back in church. I've found a good church that Elizabeth and I have visited a couple of times when she's in town. There's a group of young married people that I'm hoping we'll get hooked with once we get settled here. It's been nice to be back in church worshipping the Lord.

But I'll be honest. It's very hard to find joy in our current situation. I know all of the right things to say. I know the church answers. It's not my timing. It's the Lord's. This time apart will bring us closer in the end. There's a reason for this to happen. God works everything for the good. He won't put more on us than we can handle. Sometimes it feels like those things are just lip service. Sometimes it's hard to actually believe them.

I'll admit, this weekend was tough. Elizabeth had an opportunity we were very hopeful about. But the money's not right. We just can't make it work. Who knows, it still may work out, but it's tough. And once again, we feel like we're starting over, trying from scratch to find a job, while waiting on someone, anyone, to want to buy our house. Each passing day that we're apart, that our family is separated, gets harder and harder.

It's during these times that I should draw closer to God. It's during these times that the Scripture should speak to me and give me strength and hope for a brighter day tomorrow. I'm not going to lie, though, it's been awhile since I've felt Him all around me, since I've felt "fully alive" to quote another Flyleaf song.

It felt great to be in worship Sunday night, singing praise to the Lord. Having Elizabeth by my side in the House of the Lord was amazing. Things felt right. Unfortunately, it didn't last. It was fleeting. She had to go home, with both of us searching and wondering when this separation is going to end.

Those of you who have been praying for us, I sincerely thank you and ask that you continue the good work. Sometimes, it's very trying to keep the faith. But it hasn't wavered. I know everything will work out in its own time. It doesn't mean it's not hard. At times, it's very hard. I'm so glad I have wonderful friends and family to help me during this time. I can't tell you how much you mean to me. Thank you.

A new blog (such a creative title)

At the risk of sounding cryptic, which I don't want to be, please keep us in your prayers this weekend. There's a good opportunity that we're hopeful about, but I don't want to count any chickens before they hatch. More info will come at a later time.

So while most of my friends are thinking about a party coming up next week, I'm thinking about a party coming up in a couple of weeks.

The big 2-7. Let's P-A-R-T-Y! I'll be the first to admit that I've never been all that big on the whole birthday. Give me a little bit of money (thanks Mom and Dad!) and say happy birthday. Yay, now let's move on. However, my wife is a big birthday celebrator, so I've started to come around to this whole celebration.

And strangely enough, while most people put less emphasis on their birthday as they get older, it appears I'm backward and am placing more on it each calendar year. So on March 8, I'll be turning 27. There's nothing monumental about it. It's not 18. It's not 21. It's not 25. Not that those days were very monumental to me any way.

But just like this New Year was a unique one for me, so is this birthday. It's the first one on the newest chapter of my life, the first one I've ever spent outside of Louisiana (you know, besides that actual "birth" birthday) and one where I can really sit back and reflect on everything that has happened since I turned 26.

It's been a strange couple of months, honestly. A tough, trying time for obvious reasons. So I'm ready to party. I'm going to enjoy this birthday. And it looks like it has the makings of a really good party, with family and friends from all over converging on Pineville for a combo birthday bash/annual Granger crawfish boil

I can't tell you how excited I am about this. There are faces I haven't seen in awhile that I'm ready to see again, and honestly, I'm not sure how many more times I'll get everybody together like this. Sure, there will be holidays. But not everybody will be together. That's why I'm so excited for this one.

If you can make it, I want you there. Friends, family, everybody. Let's have a big party for the big 2-7!!!

A movie review

Preface: I am not a movie critic. I do not watch movies the way critics watch them. I'm very simple. A movie should have one goal -- to entertain. That is what I hope to get from movies.

I stepped foot in a movie theater for the first time in a while tonight. Just to set the scene: the last time I actually went to the theater was to see The Dark Knight, which was amazing, by the way. When I was in high school and college, you could just about find me at the theater once a week. I loved going to movies. I still enjoy movies. It's just with working all the time, it's hard to find the time to go to the theater. Then, there's the costs involved with purchasing two tickets and then the inevitable popcorn and coke that I must have, much to Elizabeth's chagrin. I just feel it's so much easier to wait and watch once it comes out on DVD.

But tonight I wanted to go to the movie. I haven't done much since moving to New Braunfels, first of all because I was working six days a week, and then recently I've been with Elizabeth on my days off. This weekend I didn't go back to Alexandria, and Elizabeth didn't come out here, which meant I actually had a Monday off with nothing to do. So I killed some time by going to a mall to do some browsing (it's not "shopping" if you don't buy), and then went to watch a movie.

Honestly, I didn't even have a clue what was out there. Like I said before, it's been awhile. While I was in line, I called Elizabeth and asked her about Taken. All she had to say was, "It's the movie with Sean Penn ..." OK, so another choice. My caveat with Elizabeth was I wouldn't go see a movie that I thought she and I would enjoy watching together. So out goes Underworld: Rise of the Lichens, because we saw the first two Underworld flicks together. Also, since I think we'd enjoy He's Just Not That Into You, I wasn't going to see that one. I narrowed my list down to Paul Blart: Mall Cop, a light-hearted comedy that I thought would probably make me laugh a bit but ultimately would leave me unfulfilled in the entertainment department, and The Wrestler, the critically-acclaimed masterpiece that I felt might not be entertaining enough for me because, well frankly, I usually don't agree with the critics.

But I chose The Wrestler, simply because I wanted to see Mickey Rourke's performance that I'd heard so much about. I'm not disappointed, but it certainly wasn't the greatest movie I've ever seen.

First of all, I thought Rourke did a fantastic job as Robin Ramzinski, aka Randy "The Ram" Robinson, an old washed-up wrestling star from the '80s who can't seem to give up his past glories. As an old wrestling fan, I can appreciate the subtle behind-the-scenes wrestling aspects of the movie.

Take The Ram's real name. Robin Ramzinski. There are plenty of wrestlers whose ring names are so far away from their unglamourous real names, or in the case of Randy in this movie, are a play off an aspect of their real names (The Ram = Ramzinski, Robin = Robinson). In the technical aspects of the wrestling industry, this movie was spot on. I rather enjoyed it.

And the storytelling was great. It followed the ups and downs of a real man who lost everything in the pursuit of hanging on to the past. The Ram falls in love with a stripper, played by Marisa Tomei, as the two of the them fight with giving up their current plights (wrestling and stripping) and being together. Without giving away the ending, I will say I was very disappointed with how the movie ended on several platforms. However, it didn't take away from how I rated the movie. I mean, it didn't ruin it. I would still recommend seeing it.

I guess my only real complaint about the movie -- aside from the stripping scenes (if nudity bothers you, do not go see this movie) -- is just how slowly it went. The Wrestler is a two-hour movie that feels like a three-hour movie. But it's still entertaining. And in a way that slow, deliberate pace fits with the theme of the movie. Since The Ram is a beatdown old wrestler who doesn't move as well as in his prime, the wrestling scenes are a little slower, the action isn't quite there, and quite frankly, his life really just isn't that exciting, and the slow pace of the movie bears that out.

Again, I'm no movie critic. Because the critics loved this movie. While I didn't love it, it was better than average. On a scale of five stars, I give it a 3.5.

It's a small world after all

So apparently I do know somebody in New Braunfels after all.

Strange.

This really is an amazing story.

So I recently added an old buddy from middle school on Facebook. I remember him being a great guy. But unfortunately, we went our separate ways. I went moved to Ruston in seventh grade. I believe — my memory has never been good — that he moved shortly before I did (to Arkansas, maybe? that's where he ended up).

Anyway, so I get on to check his Facebook page, because I wanted to send him a message. And I'm scanning through his page and see on his wall a message from another friend from middle school (I lived in Bossier City at the time).

The message read, "We're in New Braunfels, TX"

Well, crap. That's just crazy. But not the craziest.

Let's backtrack a few hours. Earlier tonight I covered a basketball game for the first time since before I was laid off at The Town Talk. The New Braunfels High School girls team had a guard who had this wild, curly fire red hair. You know, the type of hair that really stands out and that you remember. So I thought to myself, "That girl reminds me of Ginger Lowdermilk."

OK, so you guys don't know who Ginger is. (Preface: This was a looong time ago, Elizabeth. I love you!) Ginger was this girl from middle school that I had a major, major crush on. She had wild, crazy red hair and she played tennis. She ended up being one of the better players in the state. That's about all I remember about her, really. Well, besides the fact that her older sister tried to hook us up for a school dance one time. That failed. I was so shy and scared at the time, and I really just didn't succeed at the whole dating thing. Anyway, had a crush on Ginger. Still remember her to do this day.

Jump back to present time. I get on the friend in New Braunfels' Facebook page, and it says, "Married to Ginger Lowdermilk Angel." How frickin' crazy is that? Is that not crazy? I literally haven't thought about Ginger in a couple of years. Jason either. Not since I was following his little brother's baseball career a few years back. And of all the nights I'm reminded of her, I find out she lives here. And she's married to Jason Angel, another old friend. That's just crazy. To me, at least.

Ahh, fun times. I sent Jason a friend request and message. Hopefully, I'll get to hook up with them some time soon!

I'm so sick of the BCS ...

that I wrote a column about it.

Who would win a playoff? Probably Florida. Or USC. Or Oklahoma. Or Utah. Heck, if you look at the NFL playoffs (the three top seeds have lost so far today, and Pittsburgh is tied with San Diego as I type), you just never know what will happen. It's time for March Madness, football style.

I have six days remaining in this apartment. What am I going to do? Good question. I'm exploring my options.

I tried to wash dishes a couple of days ago, and the dang dishwasher doesn't work. Pretty ironic, considering we don't have a dishwasher at our house and I've been doing it by hand for the past nearly three years. I'm cursed!

Things are crazy at work. We're minus two editors (sports and features), so Sean and I have been pulling double and triple duty. I'm very much ready to have a full staff!

I'm hoping to make a trip home next weekend. I miss my wife, and my pup, who I'm sure I won't recognize because I'm told she's getting so big!

Prayer request: We think someone's interested in our house. Please pray they'll make the right decision -- by buying ours!

If you're interested in what I'm doing, check out the Herald-Zeitung's Web site. Every day, we post a PDF of the front page layout, which is one of my main responsibilities.

blah

Well, it's been quite awhile since I've written a blog. Just haven't been in the mood. Have had things to say, just lacked the motivation to actually write them down. Still do, actually.

Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm in New Braunfels now and have been for about the past two weeks. Things are going well with work, but they'll be much better once Elizabeth gets a job out here and we sell our house in Alexandria. Then we can get settled in New Braunfels and move on with our life.

For those of you who don't know, I was laid off at The Town Talk because of Gannett cutbacks and now work at the Herald-Zeitung in New Braunfels as the news editor, which basically means I edit copy and lay out pages. No sports, but it's not bad.

I'm living in a one-bedroom apartment for the next couple of weeks and then ... I don't know. Hopefully, we'll get the house sold and Elizabeth and I can rent a house in New Braunfels. If not, well we'll just cross that bridge when we get there.

That's about all I have for now. I'll be posting some pics later from Christmas and New Braunfels on Facebook and/or Myspace.

Over and out

I'm leaving in the morning for Texas. After losing my job at The Town Talk a couple of weeks ago, I accepted a job as news editor of The Herald-Zeitung, the community newspaper in New Braunfels, Texas. Today was my last official day as a resident of Alexandria.

My job begins on Friday, while Elizabeth stays behind in Alexandria to pack up the rest of the house as we try to sell it. Hopefully, it won't take that long to happen.

On one hand, it sucks. We didn't want to move, and I certainly don't want to be away from my wife, alone, eight hours away. On the other hand, I'm excited about the newest chapter in our life, as we get a chance to start over in a new home.

Adios, Cenla. Goodbye, Alex. We had some good times and bad times. I have the memories, whether I want them or not. Just be good to my wife over the next few weeks or months. And please, please send her home to me quickly!

checking in quickly ... at 2:50 a.m.

So, to catch up some folks who might have missed it, there's a new member of the family now. Sandy, or as we've started referring to her, Sandy-girl. She's a precious 10-week-old beagle mix that I picked out for Christmas (hey, we celebrate it early around these parts!) from the animal shelter.

Every week, or month -- I don't know because I don't actually read the paper (shhh!) -- we run photos of cute puppies and kitties that need a good home. Well, last week there were a couple that Elizabeth and I just thought were precious, particularly a beagle mix named Tinkerbell. However, when I went to pick out the puppy, Tink's sis, Sandy, was this lovable little creature that had to come home with me.

Well, it's been nearly a week now, and man, what a blast! Last night, she actually slept through the night and didn't wake me up until 7 a.m. (and for those of you who know me, since we work nights, anything before noon is way too early!). Woo hoo! E-beth and I finally got smart and gave her "her blanket," an old afghan that she took to immediately when she arrived. When she's in the living, especially on the couches, it's what she lays on. Well, we didn't think for the first few nights that she might actually want it in her bed. Before, she was wimper and bark most of the night. It was so sad! But now she's doing great.

There are still a lot of kinks to work out. She's doing pretty well with the pottying. She actually made it over 10 hours today without peeing or pooping on the floor. She used the puppy pad, which has been an adventure. But she's learning! Of course, we're still trying to teach her not to bite -- our hands, our faces, the cord to the laptop, everything! She's learning. She really is.

She's such a cutie pie -- although I don't have pics available at the moment -- and really is a very friendly puppy. She hasn't met anyone she didn't like -- humans, big puppies, even the kitty down the street. My Sandy-girl is very, very social! It's party city with this one.

We've got a puppy gate in the house, and she's taken over the guest bathroom during the day. When we're at home, we let her roam around the guest bathroom, dining room and living room. In fact, thanks to my father-in-law, we even got the backyard puppy-proofed on Sunday. We put up boards so she can't get out from under the fence and even lattice to prevent her from getting under the house.

Of course, as first-time pet owners (or as I like to refer to us, as mommy and daddy), we're learning as we go. We try not to get our feelings hurt when she wimpers, or when we have to discipline her. And we're trying not to spoil her too much, though I think we've already made four or five trips to PetSmart (or is it PetsMart?) since we picked up ole Sandy-girl, who's a tough cookie and has been battling a case of the worms and a cold that has her coughing and sneezing. We think the worm is gone, though we'll find out Friday when she goes to the vet for her second set of shots, but the cold is still around. And we'll be making plenty trips to PetSmart, or as I renamed it today "SandySmart," as we've signed her up for puppy training. Our girl's gonna graduate at the top of the class!

It really has been an eye-opening experience, but one we've enjoyed so much. In fact, we made a trip to Baton Rouge on Tuesday (both took the day off) to go eat at Joe's Crab Shack and do some shopping, but kept thinking about how quickly we could get back to Alexandria so we could play with our Sandy-girl!

All right, I'll wrap it up now. There will be plenty more Sandy-girl stories later -- and hopefully a few pics as well!

Quick synopsis of the weekend

For those of you who don't know, I made a trip up to Ruston this weekend for Tech's Homecoming football game and a Halloween party thrown by several of my friends. It was supposed to be a trip for both E-beth and me, but she got sick Friday night and didn't come. Here's a quick look back to the weekend that was:

Since we had taken a vacation day on Saturday (the only way for me to get out of town), I had a lot of work to do Friday night. Just because I'm gone, the work still gotta get done, ya know what I mean? So I worked late. Didn't leave the office until after 3 a.m. Came home, did the dishes (cuz I promised), took a shower, packed a bag and then got on the road around 4:30 a.m.

That's right, I'm going back to college, right? Might as well pull an all-nighter. I rolled into town around 6:30 a.m., grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed on campus. Since Elizabeth didn't make the trip, I figured I'd try to get a press credential and do a story on a starting defensive tackle (D'Anthony Smith) from Cenla. Vacation? What vacation?

I dropped by the TAC to see if Malcolm Butler, football SID, might be in his office. Instead, I found coach Kerry Rupp of the basketball team, and he invited me to watch their 7:30 a.m. practice. So I got a good look at the Dunkin' Dawgs for the first time. Liked what I saw of some things. Have some questions on other things. But that was good.

After watching practice, I ran by the bank to deposit a check (yes, Elizabeth and I are still loyal Community Trust Bank customers) and then headed out to the Tech golf course, where I caught up with Binni, J.J., Dave Asfar and Jason Shinaberry for the second (?) annual Homecoming golf round. Spent a few holes with them, laughed a lot, encouraged some, took a couple of swings myself and then headed out hoping to see more faces that I hadn't seen in two or three years like J.J., Dave and Shinaberry.

The next stop was the radio. I stopped by the ESPN 97.7 studio for the high school football recap show hosted by Nick White. Spent about an hour there with the only person I know with more knowledge and passion for high school football than me. Here's to the "prep guru"!

After that show ended at 11 a.m., I went over to Joe Aillet Stadium to spend a little more time on the radio with Sean Fox and Ed Hebert for Tech's pre-game show. While there, also saw some old faces like Bradley Walker, Adam McGuirt, Charlie Hogan and Jason Jones. Fun times.

The game was a blur, an amazing 38-35 Tech win over rival Fresno State in which the player I was doing a story on had a good game -- six tackles, 0.5 sack and a pass breakup. Did the whole post-game press conference deal, which was nice, wrote my story and then headed over to Alan and Misti's for the Halloween party.

Let me tell you, this was a good, good time. It was great to hang out with some folks that I haven't seen in a long, long time. And, of course, it's always great to hang out with people I do see, like Alan, Kyle and Binni. Others who were there: Stephen Taylor, Gil Colvin, Scott Sutton, Haywood, Jay Whittington and many others. Sometimes, it's hard for me to believe it's been over three years since I graduated college. The time has flown.

There were some great costumes. Gil's penguin head, I believe, was the best one. Very, very funny. Alan and Misti were rock stars. I was The Man (with my LeBron James jersey) in the Yellow Hat, complete with a Curious George doll draped around my neck. Kyle came as Superman, which always seems to be the case! Amber and Malcom came dressed as officials, while Dustin and Rindy Swafford were an angel and a devil.

Fun times. Of course, we spent most of the time watching the Texas-Texas Tech game on the big screen. Sorry, Misti! It was an amazing game and a good way to end the day. While I'm sure they partied late into the night, this young fella was pooped, since was working on zero sleep, and headed to the Roberts house to crash around 11 p.m.

On Sunday, I grabbed a bite to eat -- Johnny's Pizza! -- and took it over to Alan's to watch a little football (J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets!) for a couple of hours. Then I stopped off at the Ferrels house and visited with my old friends there, Sherri, Casey, Ashley and Michelle. Also saw Casey's twins, Aiden and Brenton, who are now 4 years old, and the newest member of the family, 5-month-old Charlee.

Overall, it was one of the better trips home I've had since I moved to Alexandria. There were so many old faces and such a good time catching up with folks that I haven't seen in so long!

Back to what this blog's about

Let's talk a little bit about something that hasn't appeared on this blog in a while:

SPORTS!!!

Got the chance to watch the Hornets play tonight on TNT. I know it's early. Really, really early. The NBA only tipped off three days ago. But the Hornets are 2-0, after winning seven straight in the preseason, and already look to be in midseason form.

Of course, it all starts at the point with Chris Paul. CP3, in this biased opinion, was screwed out of the MVP award last season. I don't think there's a question that Kobe is one of the top two players in the world, and he's arguably the best, although LeBron is pretty good, too. However, if you've talking about valuable, there wasn't a player more valuable than Chris Paul, who took the Hornets to within one game of having the best record in the league.

And he certainly looks like he's still at that top form this year, twice saving the Hornets as they struggled early in the fourth quarter. But that's what great players do. They lift their play when their teams need it most. And there's absolutely no question Chris Paul is a great player. In fact, I don't think there should be a question that CP3 is the best point guard in the NBA.

But, as the guys on TNT discussed after the game, it's not all about CP3. The Hornets also have some players who are among the best at what they do in the NBA. The Hornets beat the Phoenix Suns tonight without center Tyson Chandler, who might be the best rebounder and shotblocker in the NBA. And he's certainly the best combination rebounder/shotblocker there is around. Sure, he's offensively limited, but he makes such a dynamic combination with Paul, who drives in the lane and allows Chandler to use his athleticism to finish around the rim.

New Orleans also has one of the top young power forwards in the league in David West, who has become deadly at knocking down the midrange jump shot. Again, like Chandler, a lot of what West does comes off creativity by Paul. But would Paul's numbers be nearly as good as they are now without West being able to knock down the open jumper? There's no way.

In those three players -- Paul and West, who are both all-stars, and Chandler, who's an all-star defender -- New Orleans has plenty of star power. But the Hornets also have role players. Peja Stojakovic was brilliant tonight, and he's one of the top five pure shooters in the NBA. It's literally pick your poison with this team, because Paul is so brilliant that he's going to create a shot for Chandler at the rim, West at the elbow or Stojakovic/James Posey/Morris Peterson at the 3-point line. Or you could just give Paul an easy layup, which he'll gladly take.

Then, there are the young players who continue to develop. Without Chandler tonight, Hilton Armstrong got the start and Melvin Ely came off the bench to provide some quality minutes in the post. With a healthy Chandler, who sat out for precautionary measures because of a tweaked ankle, the Hornets have four legitimate options in the post. And with guys like Rasual Butler and developing second-year player Julian Wright on the wing, New Orleans has depth at nearly every position.

The only question is how do you balance needing Paul on the floor and limiting his minutes. Paul spent time in Beijing this summe winning Olympic gold, and has played more basketball in the last year than he has ever in his life. Mike James can give some quality minutes as the backup point guard, but how many is that? Do you want to give Paul 42 minutes a game? 40? 36? That's the toughest question I think coach Byron Scott has to answer this year. You want your best player on the floor, but you also want him fresh and at his peak when the playoffs come around in seven months.

It's early. Very early. But the Hornets are 2-0! Two down, only 80 more to go for the perfect season!!!